Mrs. Starr calls her hubby on the telephone and asks him to stop and get a chicken for dinner. They are having some of the leaders of the right-wing reactionary rabids in for dinner and some called to say that they would be bringing their current wives to cut up and pre-chew their food.

"Make sure the chickens are real chicken (young) and fresh," she admonished him.

So after a quickie $200,000 investigation by the FBI, Starr goes to the Kosher meat market because their dietary laws are so strict that Starr deduces the chickens MUST be fresh. But when he sees the hanging from hooks without refrigeration, he has his doubts.

The butcher hands Starr a nice chubby, young chicken. Starr stares at its naked form for a bit, adjusts his jock strap, pokes its breast to see if it is plump and young. Then he lifts up one wing and sniffs, then lifts the other and sniffs. Not quite satisfied on its freshness, he then spreads its legs and sniffs the cavity ...

The butcher looks on with disgust and says, "Judge Starr, could you stand up to such scrutiny?"

Isn't it strange that you never see Judge Starr and Linda Tripp together?

YOU READ IT HERE FIRST! (Sorry Drudge the sludge for stealing your line.)

Ken Starr is NOT Linda Tripp in drag ...

Poor Linda - the Maryland prosecutor is throwing the book at her for illegally taping a private conversation between herself and Monica Lewinsky - and now Kenny Starr is about to unleash a pack of wolves on her for the obvious fakeness of at least one of the most damning tapes - seems that it is a copy of a copy with lots of stops and starts - amateur editing giveaways.

The editing by Starr and company are much better.

The Starr report reads more like a male-masturbating romance story from "Hustler Magazine". Where is cold legal logic? The asides and various comments by the writers of the report take it into a realm that defies categorization in legal circles.

One can see the similarities between the Starr Clinton report and the Starr influence on the Jones lawsuit. Starr did advise on the Jones suit before he was appointed as an "impartial" independent prosecutor.

"Independent" prosecutor Starr continues to take bigtime money from the tobacco interests which is another reason he hates Clinton and brown noses that old geezer Senator from North Carolina.

Starr claims to be EXTEMELY RELIGIOUS - he sings and prays everyday and teaches his brand of religion in jails - condemns Clinton for consensual extra marital sex. However, he DEFENDS keeping tobacco cheap and legal - and from keeping tobacco moguls from paying damages - Tobacco KILLS and badly injures MILLIONS OF people every year.

That kind of religion we can do without.

I don't think his god belongs in a civilized nation.

I have said before, Clinton's behavior with Monica Lewinsky was bad - very bad. Stupid!

it is not grounds for impeachment. It is grounds for a divorce. Or at least a good trip to behind the back barn.

the Congress wants to censure, let them - and let Newt Gingrich lead the pack. Gingrich has been censured for attempting to take a bribe and for misusing campaign funds - and rumor is all over Washington that he has a squeeze hidden away in the D.C. area right now. And remember it was Newtsie who brought oral sex to the attention of the general news media by refusing to have vaginal sex with his mistress so he could deny "sleeping with her."

- you goody two shoes who are screaming about the Starr report contaminating your children have you forgotten your own childhood's?

Kids are embarrassed more by their parents' reactions than the news accounts.

Come on, get real. Kids today (and most of us of yesteryear) were pretty moxie - I remember my 5th grade class drawing "dirty" pictures and passing them around.

The latest word out of Congress in face of the overwhelming public support of Bill Clinton, THE PRESIDENT, is that they will settle for a censure and a FINE - a heavy fine that will bankrupt Clinton for the rest of his life.

The RRRR want to punish Clinton to his death so that no liberal will ever try for the Presidency again.

The entire attempt to unseat Clinton has been a rightwing conspiracy to undo the presidential election - it used to be called a coup d'etat before the electronics revolution.

Remember Democratic leader Senator Richard Gephardt is running for the presidency circa 2000 and HE OPPOSES ABORTION!!!!

Professional feminists have a big problem with this situation, especially those "leaders" who have their own intern secrets and who admit to committing adultery. However, they reserve the right to criticize Clinton for EXACTLY what they did ... well, not EXACTLY, being mostly in the "opposite" ball park. The prime hypocrite has become the darling of the late night talk shows ... barf!

Common-sense women who have experience with men are shrugging this off and concentrating on the best political friend women have ever had in the White House.

Two very good "virtual" friends whom I respect are all adither about the Clinton report and are calling for his resignation because - ACCORDING TO MONICA - she had unpresidented (sic) access to the Oval Office, etc., that put the secret service at a disadvantage. "These are the guys who are sworn to take a bullet for him." My friends pointed out the France's Mitterand's mistresses were "probably" check out for security, etc.

Now, dahlings, I respect your right to your opinions.

But as far as I'm concerned, the secret service SHOULD have know EVERYTHING about Monica and the goings on in that study. IF they didn't, everyone of them should get fired for incompetence.

They KNEW - they HAD to know - if they were doing their job guarding the president. After all we're talking about Monica, the blabbermouth. There are no secrets in a situation like that.

The SS certainly should have had a pretty good file on her. If they didn't - something's wrong in wonderland and the POTUS is being guarded by incompetents.

Anthony Lewis of the New York Times (a paper that has led the charge in the defaming of Bill Clinton because of his health plan initiatives) wrote: "Urging resignation is a way to avoid the hard question of impeachment. But for a President to resign because he is politically weak would do terrible damage to the role of the Presidency in our constitutional structure. It would move us toward a parliamentary system. IT WOULD ENCOURAGE THE FORCES OF DEMAGOGUERY TO ATTACK ANY PRESIDENT. IT WOULD INTENSIFY THE ALREADY CORRUPTING CRIMINALIZATION OF OUR POLITICS (Emphisis CC)."

Bruce Ackerman in the same anti-Democratic paper wrote: "The striking feature of Kenneth Starr's report is its complete silence on the dispositive legal issue: Does the President's conduct amount to an impeachable offense? Starr's report contains thousands of words about sex, but not one word explains why the impeachment clause or the basic principles of the Constitution justify removing the President. "The Presidency was so weakened by the Johnson impeachment that Presidents could not even dismiss their own Cabinet officers without winning approval from the Senate until Grover Cleveland regained this power in the1890's. And it took another 40 years before Franklin Roosevelt made the Presidency an equal partner with Congress."

A Los Angeles Times article by Stanley I. Kutler was headlined "Resignation offers Congress power without accountabilty, and empowers the media even more."

A Swedish woman wrote to an email "friend": "This is a very American story, there are not many nations where something like this would have blown up in such a way."

What the media's intentional myopia on Clinton's zipper is hiding:

The horrendous floods in India, China and especially Bangledaish point to widespread famine and starvation beginning this winter. Millions - including Russia and many nations in Africa - face starvation. A terrible, terrible human catastrophe is in the making and Americans don't know about it, thanks to Brokaw, Rather, and cutsie face who has had enough affairs to have hashmarks down to his ankles.

The Iranians are about to go to war with the Afghanistanian Taliban, the latter being the most extreme right-wing ARMED religious radicals. The Taliban makes the the cockles of our American rightwing radicals sing with envy: women in bondage and without any rights whatsoever - made slaves in their homes to operate home sweat shops to support the lazy (but brutal) men. Those beautiful hand- knotted rugs were from the home sweatshops of the Muslim nations. The wives made them during 16 hour days with minimal food and the men simply sold them and partied with buying "wives by the hour" so they wouldn't break their religious commandments.

Kosovo in the Balkans is ready to blow sky high.

Russia's political problems are being emphasized instead of looking closer at the economy and the fact that much of the nation faces extreme food shortages this winter.

The Japanese money markets are in big, big trouble.

Slavery has returned to parts of Africa - especially the sexual slavery of women.

Demostration in Israel against Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu the prime minister for what is perceived as his intentional scuttling of the peace accords. Israel is facing rising unemployment.

Women are losing rights in several of the South American countries.

Need we say that the censoring of what is going on in the rest of the world is intentional?

Keeping the smaller investor and the general public in ignorance while the BIG money boyz are moving out of the stock market into the more secure bond market - including Greenspan!

The TV anchors keep trying to tie a predicted market crash to the Clinton "scandal" although the growing problems are in the world markets. Any crash will be caused by world problems, not Clinton.

The day after the Starr report was issued the stock market went UP by 150 points. Dan Rather was sooooo disappointed!

Without comment we quote the Reuters story although firing these creeps is not enough:

NEW YORK: " Two New York City firefighters were fired Friday after riding on a parade float that mocked the grisly dragging death of a black man in Texas. A third man, a police officer, would be fired by Saturday, New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani said. The officer and the firemen, all of them off-duty, were among nine men who rode on the float in a Labor Day parade Monday in the New York City borough of Queens. The men, all of them white, wore blackface makeup and Afro-style wigs. One of them jumped off the float to grab the rear bumper, lampooning the June 7 death of James Byrd Jr. Byrd was chained to a pickup truck and dragged to his death in Jasper, Texas. Giuliani said the firefighters were suspended without pay, but "our intention is that they will never, never return."

If only we could get governments to act the same for the everyday parodies of women being beaten, raped, tortured, etc.

A Singapore firm is marketing U.S. made rust proof steel chastity belts at a price of U.S. $788. Customers are expected to be husbands who suspect their wives of being unfaithful.

Kenneth Starr just issued a statement that claims the Lewinsky investigation cost $4.4 million and blames the cost on Clinton's reluctance to discuss the matter.

Starr spent $40 MILLION in four years on other matters and failed to find anything wrong in the Clintons actions, but he didn't mention that.

Oh, did you know that Starr will NOT divulge how many employees he has and what their salaries are? Or what the expenses have been?

To paraphrase Starr: how he spends tax dollars is no one's business but his.

Doctors in Holland are reconstructing the hymens of immigrant brides-to-be terrified of the consequences if they "cannot show her bloody sheet after the wedding night (since) the grooms family may exact revenge in the form of bloody reprisals and banishment of the bride."

Most of the women involved are immigrants who "lost" their virginity through rape.